Open Letter to the Man who just wants quiet.

That shit is so Florida.

Go to beach. Apply a coat of nail polish. Sprinkle sand over the top.

Lord knows I've always wanted to fingerblast myself with a pint or two of Rust-Oleum Deck Restore.

Look on the bright side. You can use your nails to file your other nails.

The stickers in the bottom of grandma's tub.

This looks like the surface of a diving board.

This is what my toenails look like when I put my socks on before the nail polish has completely dried.

It's all fun and games until you accidentally gnaw your fingernails off while eating Cheetos.

Satire and/or inside jokes. Don't worry about it - the intended recipient knows what I'm doing.

Let's all bookmark this for the next time some MRA asks, "why didn't she just go to the police?"

SOURRY I FOURGOUT TOU SPELL THINGS COURRECTLY, I WILL AVOUID THAT ERROUR GOUING FOURWARD.

There are no words for how much I love this comment.

I AM FROM BRITISH CANADA AND DEMAND TO KNOW WHY MY CANDIES ARE NOT REPRESENTED.

PLEASE WRITE ME AN EXTENSIVE LETTER OF APOLOGY DETAILING THE REASONS FOR THIS LACK OF CONSIDERATION. I WOULD PREFER YOU DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME, AS THIS IS CLEARLY A PERSONAL AFFRONT.

As much as I hate to defend them in any way, I think it was a little different with John and Kate. She was only pregnant twice, it was just multiples both times. I assume they thought that they'd end up with (at most) four kids total since they had two with the first fertility treatment. No way were the planning on…

and that they hated each other

Next up from Big Facebook:

The "You're Married. Why Haven't You Bred?" button.

I agree, but I think her obsession with pregnancy, to the point that she's willing to risk grave physical harm to herself, is kind of disturbing.

So...a woman finds pregnancy to be a positive experience and has waived the surrogacy fee to give three children to families that want to adopt, and we're going ewwww?

Man at first I was getting ready to cringe in horror at a tale of a woman with Way Too Many Kids, but instead, she's a surrogate. For free. That's.. kinda awesome. What a good way to deal with being hooked on pregnancy.