I refuse to believe Selena would write 'U' and Justin would write 'you'.

TWICE. It's like he thought "She'll definitely buy it if I send a second pic. Two dick pics make the ladies go wild. It doesn't work unless you send two."

Jesus, imagine having less common sense than a guy named Scooter.

It's always upsetting to learn that dick pics hold little to no power over women.

The eerily accurate texts are fake

My (previously nonexistent) respect for Selena Gomez just skyrocketed.

She's just waiting until he's old enough to use it as a term of endearment to him.

I realize this makes me sound like an asshole, but I'm glad he got to deal with all that shit. I wish more guys tried it, for the simple learning experience.

Well, unless they were rewarded. They can go on for ages if not properly dealt with. And my sister was particularly bad, much worse than the rest of us.

Please refer to the No True Scotsman fallacy. After that, if you do not accept that it is a case of that, then please provide your evidence that most sex positive, feminist women enjoy being choked and demand it from males. Please provide evidence that daily beatings and rape simulations are a must for many feminist…

Even if it were true, what does anyone else's preference in the bedroom have to do with anything?

well i think the most common is the argument i have ALMOST EVERY FUCKING DAY- NO YOU CANNOT JUST LET YR KID HOLD THE THOMAS THE TRAIN TOY UP TO THE CHECK OUT AND THEN REFUSE TO LET HIM BUY IT, YES HE IS GOING TO FLIP OUT, YES HE WILL! THERE WILL BE NO THOMAS TRAIN HOLDING NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT EVEN TIL CHECKOUT CUZ…

A. Make him read Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard. If your offspring cannot read, explain to him that the symbol is not the object. If your offspring is preverbal, show him this picture:

It's easy to imagine what an advice column in this magazine might look like. "My child recently started pre-school and I was horrified to learn that there is another child in their class with the exact same first name! What can I say to my child to reassure them that they are unique and special?"

Ha! I never grow tired of being told that when I have children I won't be able spend money on frivolous things like whatever I have done for travel, restaurants, or new things. But an $800 stroller that sweetie will grow out of in months? That's just necessary.

Intervening would have caused a scene that Nigella would no doubt have had to pay for in private later.

Well, I'm glad he took those photographs. It shattered a whole lot of misconceptions about domestic abuse, started a national discussion about the subject (in the UK, at least), and arguably provided the final straw for Nigella to get out of that awful relationship.

As a survivor of domestic violence, I am going to voice what may seem really weird to you. I'm glad he kept snapping the pictures.

documenting a crime = good.