Her face looks the way it does because she’s had multiple reconstructive facial surgeries after a really bad car accident, so perhaps your compassion would be more in order than your snark.

It is old school Jez! That and Moe’s infamous tampon story. Now THAT is old school (even for me; I started reading Jez a year after that story was published).

SHE IS NOT BLACK. IT WILL JUST BE REGULAR OLD BLACKFACE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT SHE IS DOING. Seriously. You just typed “acceptable blackface”. And you also commented on how we need to have empathy for this woman. You have some soul searching to do.

Isn’t Renee Baio the one that called us all lesbian shit asses?

Reposting, because fuck this noise:

But you can’t forget the greatest Ascot look of all time

Yep, it’s the aspirational middle class AND BELOW. Where I live the luxury (?) brand du jour is Michael Kors (what?!). All it takes is a trip to the mall to see who’s carrying one to understand why the the rich don’t want to buy the same brands. A few years ago it was Coach, and before that Louis Vuitton. Once the…

This is particularly interesting because Priapus more or less is his penis in terms of symbolism, so it is odd that he would have a problem with fertility. I think it is possible that the phimosis is more symbolic than anything else.

Wait, whut? There is so much going on with this damn story. I’m going down a rabbit hole I just can’t get out of. My whole Friday has been wrapped up in this mess.

Someone must do her hair though, right? I want to hear from that person.

Ha, I just posted something similar! I want to not say anything until the kid is born then just casually post a picture like “So yeah, I have one of these.”

“S’Moreos” taste even better than I thought they would! Just WHY can't that and white wine be our diet!?

It’s like Buffy vs. Faith, but with more awful bubblegum pop and fewer wicked knives.

If nothing else, this bit gave us an amazing gif of Bill Nye saying “That just makes no fucking sense.”

Fair enough. But I reserve the right to get mad when she insists we all eat at Outback because (I shit you not) she likes their croutons and caesar salad dressing. Everyone’s dinner, decided by a condiment.

I don’t even like sweets, but I just got really high and that picture is doing things to me.

Somehow, I’m now just imagining you sitting at a computer in the wee hours of the morning, only by the light of the screen, with tabs on tabs of food porn, just cackling uncontrollably. The kind of uncontrollable cackle that is usually reserved for the villains of cheesy movies or kids TV shows.

The maniacal laugh that happened when I found THAT picture cannot be described in mere words.

Question...do you guys think that the people closest to celebrities with stage names call them by their real name? Or like, only if they knew them before they got famous? Like, I’m sure Rihanna’s mom calls her Robyn still, especially in private, but like what about childhood friends? Romantic partners? What does Chris…

I hated people who asked for frappucinos when I worked at an actual Starbucks.