" Could have used more vegan options. Im outraged. I'll have you know, Im very important. I sell monogrammed thermos's."

OMG SWIMFAN. I was nearly an hour late to class during college because Swimfan was on tv and I could not stop watching it. I don't even know if it was a good movie, I just know I was mesmerized by it.

Eggs benedict POUTINE.

I kind of feel like if you combined all of these makeup looks into one, the result would be a zombified Amanda Lepore impersonating a Bauhaus album cover.

This is not horrible, but on closer examination I think those light spots on her skirt aren't appliques, they're giant grommets. I am not in favor of Groin Windows. :(

She really should be holding a plunger in one hand and a whisk in the other, and have a glowing blue light mounted on her forehead.

"I don't believe in domestic violence."

don't worry, i understand where are you coming from.

I wonder if it works in reverse?

I had the same thoughts. What the hell does that even mean?

My jaw dropped when I read that. Fucking disgusting.

I legit ended a friendship with a guy friend who was saying a lot of these same things, and I'll tell you why: Men who defend that kind of shit have either hit a woman in the past or have come really close and/or have crossed the line before. Something in them identifies with it, and I don't want a dude like that in…

If you ever run for President, I get to be your Press Secretary just so we can finally have a Press Secretary who openly says "fuck you" to columnists like Steven.

Just do what the rest of us do: sprinkle your dick with cinnamon and nutmeg.

My cat wants a makeup line. It'll be called "Poopbox" and be mostly makeup that looks good when you spend the majority of your day, face down onto the floor, asleep. And the rest, licking yourself.

"SHE WILL ATTRACT BEARS." That pretty much nails the absurd fear behind the shame we attach to being on our periods, doesn't it?

And no mozzarella sticks or onion rings. I seriously don't have time for a pizza place without something like this for apps.

Hahaha! Nothing says "fuck you, infant" like Kardashian kiddie klothing.

I WAAAAANNNNNTTTTTT THAT ... because I am a heathen.