Uh, she contacted Apple last week. They got back to her within an hour and said it would be taken care of. If she's expecting them to do a special roll-out just for her, and during a holiday week, too, she's got a bad case of Privileged Child Syndrome.

Often occurs alongside terrible grammar as well.

This world, in modern day 2013 America, apparently.

Dear Jennifer Lawrence,

Gaze upon the jarring, glaring whiteness!

Quick, without going to Google, tell us all about Canadian Racism, especially from the perspective of someone that was homeschooled, and then taken out of school at a young age.

Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. Yuuuum.

While I'm happy for Courtney Stodden (well, as happy as one can be for someone they don't know or have any particular interest in), I am sad that I will have less reasons to post creepy Eugene Tooms gifs.

But I don't want botox, I want laser removal and teeth whitening. I mean, they (my friends) want laser and teeth whitening.

Please, walking to the mailbox is a 'marathon' to me.

You're killing it all day, Burt. I'm so stoked for you. Please tell me this means the Paula Deen cruise is on.

It's Jezebel's first Burt-day! Many happy returns!

What kind of magic is this? Burt on the main page for dirt bag on the weekend?! Am I in some sort of mustachioed heaven. Also, maybe this means they have a new weekend person, replacing someone who might talk about rape inappropriately.

Yeah, you lost me at "amazingly talented Bret Easton Ellis..."

Hahaha! I said I would call the baby Minerva, but she insists on Minnebelle. I want Murgatroid.

Seriously are we still acting like this? Seriously? I want to die.

Pencils of Promise is what I am going to name my all male burlesque stripshow.

But all the hilariousness aside, why not try to take this lotus birth lady seriously and just really consider her views? What's she up to? What does she want?

......and another thing I hate to pick this show apart but no one when to clubs in basements back then! They may have been in seedy neighborhoods but the the clubs were huge, brash and proud just like the people. It was a time a obvious consumption and no one hid there drinking and drug taking but did it all out in…