Wondering if separating “tender age” children from their parents for 8-10 hours per day in daycare for 5 years has any lasting affects? Those kids cry, too.

Those quotes read like the trial transcript of someone facing charges for being found nude in a Taco Bell at 3am.

Nah, watching professional golfers fail is amazing, especially since it’s only once a year. If every tournament was like this it would suck, but making them look like me at my local muni is extremely satisfying for those of us who need a five iron to hit a shot the pros would use a pitching wedge on.

“The history stuff was pretty fun. It was cool to see what football was like in 1969. Ha. I said 69,” said one player who requested ‘anonymtitties’

Clay is dope because of the smooth sliding around. It is the best sporting surface. The NBA should introduce clay courts and remove traveling if the player is “actively sliding.” If Steph’s ridiculous 3s piss you off now, imagine him sliding into corner daggers.

I appreciated how Bourdain evolved from the cheeky American asshole in Cook’s Tour to the more respectful “I want to be everyone’s friend” in No Reservations to the “food is just how I talk about the bigger stuff” guy in Parts Unknown. He cut down on the wisecracking (somewhat) and turned into someone who was…

No one at the press conference followed up with the obvious question: are they referring to Kenneth Branagh’s 1993 version or Joss Whedon’s artier 2012 production?

I’m 6'4", 240. Either

Right, I used to love the whole schtik of the guy and the satire was on such a perfectly brilliant level for that late aught’s adolescent years of social media, but a while back I was in the company of some real absolute dick heads who in the midst of shooting out some real shit takes over the course of a night and…

It’s as if Stephen Colbert, to use an existing comparison, had taken his “Stephen Colbert” character to Fox News and enjoyed glowing press for doing satire at the network.

Where was it suggested that this review of Deadpool would be objective?

“Dad? I thought you were dead.”

Who among us hasn’t sipped on a paperbag tallboy in a park, turned to their buddy and put $10 on the tall kid to strike out the side, and then screamed “Get off the field number 8, you fucking piece of shit.” when he gets absolutely lit up?

I can already see the future...