Such as?

What? No, he's just plain hot. He bogarted all the cheekbones in England; there are just some left in Scotland up in the Orkneys, and Wales now. My 13-year-old daughter is rather resolutely NOT interested in boys, and on seeing me watch Sherlock (for the first time just now) she opined the Cumberbatch looked like…

I might, hypothetically, also be a white person thinking about having sex with Idris Elba. Hypothetically.

Oh, God, the moment I walked in the door after flying from Singapore to NYC and then getting to East Hampton my granddad asked me "are you pregnant again?" when he first saw me, like 10 months after the birth of my second child. Because it took me 2 years after her birth to get back to my original pre-pregnancy with…

Epidurals: Fuck Yeah. My mom was a hippie and used natural/Lamaze childbirth for both me and my brother. She was the first woman to give birth naturally in the Savannah, GA hospital since the tun of the last century, so the room was crowded with doctors and residents! She was in labor for 18 hours. She told me,…

THE BEST. x__x

South Carolina Low Country coast wants to hollaa!

Meat tenderizer helps, IME. I've been stung by a Portuguese Man of War, and I had two wicked strips of bubbles beneath my hot red skin, wrapped round my whole right leg. I should have been taken to the Dr., prolly, but my family was too stoned to organize stuff like that usually unless it were dire. I took tylenol or…

I've both been a waitress and dined out at crazy late hours with a toddler and a babe-in-arms (jet-lag from Singapore to the East Coast of the U.S.—exactly 12 hours different, so, 3 a.m. is 3 p.m. It's the worst with little kids.) I'ma defend my honor here and say I tipped well all the way through; moreso if my…

So when you say "not to bash on all women" you mean "make up total bullshit because I'm a misogynist"? When you look around at your group of friends, are the only fathers you see ex-cons with killer abs? No kind, thoughtful IT guys who are super-into GoT and who cosplay with their girlfriend and baby son? No slightly…

LUMPY SPACE PRINCE WHEN WILL YOU UNDERSTAND I JUST DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU!?

Oh, god, there used to be a dude in the Mission in the late 90s who was so-ultra-super-hipster-extraordinaire that he wore a suit and a fucking high collar and gloves and a hat and spats all the motherfucking time! I wanted to straight fuck that guy and I did not know him. Unfortunately I was busy being addicted to…

SIR, AH SAY, SIR! NO! Trilbies are cute and I look great in them; fedoras' brims are too wide. Wait, I'm a girl, though. When I see a dude looking like a dick in a trilby what I'm usually seeing is a dude looking like a dick in a porkpie hat. Me, personally.

There are some situations—you're in your own neighborhood, it's 6 p.m., you know it well, you know the homeless guys, the shopkeepers—where it's safe to respond to a 'hello' or 'good evening' with the same in return, confident that the discussion will end there. But in LITERALLY EVERY OTHER PLACE/TIME you don't know…

I WILL FOLLOW YOU, YEA, E'EN UNTO THE ENDS OF THIS EARTH.

AAAAAACK. This is difficult to explain properly, but you might be in your area, know your neighborhood well, and feel comfortable saying 'hi' back to the dude in front of the 7/11 knowing that would be it. But EVERY SINGLE OTHER PLACE, replying to a simple 'hello' or 'good morning' invites a further conversation, and…

TAKE MY MONEY NOW.

LOL. When I saw the "Indie Game is Sausagefest" I was like, um, rather than what other game now? (I say this as a woman.)

Now I'm scared. OK, it's the internet, you win.

INFINITY much better.