I’m so tired of the fake contrition, she’s not sorry for her “failures”. She’s sorry she got fucking caught doing crimes she felt entitled to get away with and now has to face some consequences for her actions. 

Well, I was going to build my own Futurama, with hookers and blackjack, but this will do just fine.

Seriously. I guarantee if someone - ANYONE - would have just kicked the shit out of Trump when he was a teenager, we wouldn’t be in this mess. 

I hate having to say this because I desperately want to believe it’s not true, but some people would have greatly benefited by being punched in the mouth at least a couple times during their formative years. There’s something very humbling about having character built via a few broken teeth.

Can’t wait for his endorsement from MTG! Maybe she’ll show up at a rally with Donny Dumbass in tow and the three of them will merge together becoming a miniature black hole that devours itself...

Texas, where we’ll try our hardest to shoot you in the face while we try our hardest to keep you from getting a shot in the arm

From the video, there are plenty of crackers involved.

Nice try, Giz but I’m still not turning off my ad blocker. 

YeAh WhY dOn’t yOU sTiCK tO cArs yOur MakInG mE fEeL bAD.

Oh, sure. NOW they’re cool with masks.

This would have been a perfect opportunity for that one Gritty meme that reads:

How to properly respond to Nazis:

If you keep clicking on links and replying to the posts, they will for sure change everything. Great plan.

I would have put the L two spots sooner, so that “labia” would have been in there.

How wonderful. I’ve been in the market for a truck for months, but I refuse to pay more than MSRP. If they could leave the name of the previous owner somewhere in there I’d be happy to let them know a liberal homosexual is now driving their old truck to grindr hookups.

All of the suggestions are bad and the people who made them should feel bad for suggesting them.

This guy is such a cunt.

Please. The only reason to have a pastry bag is to squeeze pastry cream directly into one’s mouth.

FYI, apparently because I had already been logged in to my Amazon account, there was no online form for me. I just clicked a button, and it said I was entered in the contest.