She missed one: They should be required to give the sperm a proper cremation or burial.

Hey, those enormously expensive NYC apartments don’t buy themselves!

Oh sure, NOW the republicans believe in science

But is he wealthy? I’m convinced that he couldn’t divest his businesses because they’re underwater.

Best part for me???? That he was worried he’d have to pay for the new drapes himself.

I’d bet money that dad’s businesses are under water and that’s why he couldn’t divest. They’d all be broke.

But the question remains, if they didn’t think he was going to actually do any of that, they voted for him because they, what, admired his character?????????? #myfuckingrelatives

I have a new rule — If the poster consists of a picture of somebody holding a gun, I won’t see it. For TV, if the ad shows people creeping through hallways holding guns (cops included), I won’t see it.

C’mon Melania, leak us some photos of him before he’s put on his hair and makeup! I’m convinced that’s the only thing that would kill him.

Dear Melania,

Bush-Cheney ginned up a fake terrorist threat every time they needed a boost. Reagan invaded Grenada.

I’m guessing they couldn’t get any decent, competent people to take their phone calls/

I’ve always assumed it takes him half the morning to do his hair and makeup

I’ve seen plenty of videos of guys getting hit in the nuts and it’s always HILARIOUS, so I think you’re good with the just-a-joke defense.

I half-laughed and said to Mr Em that maybe we should stock up on canned goods. We looked at each other and stopped laughing.

We’re gonna have to keep Comey, because good god who knows what sort of a replacement Trump would name.

My public library had Rosetta Stone online access from home for a while but it required Flash so I said no-thanks. They used to have Mango which I worked all the way through in Spanish and liked it a lot, but now they Duolingo which is OK.

That is definitely an experience shower. A different kind of experience, of course.

My takeaway --- John Oliver says he would be gay for Tim Gunn

Thinking about getting one for my mom, but I need to know --- How hard is it to clean????