I try to hold the string between my labia major and my leg, if I can. Of course wash your hands afterwards, and I use paper towel to remove and wrap it.

I think I just need to buy thirty pairs of black underwear and realize that for one week out of the month my underpants will be channeling my Hot Topic glory days.

Oh boy..she's new to me and I love her!!

It was a comment, not a diagnosis.

I wish I passed strawberry chunks. Try raw chopped liver chunks so big and solid that they make a bigger splash than a poo. * photo from liver puttanesca recipe....

Meh. Kim's greasy ass was much scarier to me.

I'm going to be real: Why wouldn't you?

Also

Not to get all serious and medical here, but it's possible that she might have early symptoms of fibroids. When your period starts to look like raw beef stew, it's something to consider.

We'll get there. Blame Jessica Coen for encouraging me to "branch out" and "step outside your comfort zone."

Also, my husband Idris Elba.

Now I find myself in a weird position of wanting to watch Geordie Shore because that chick bought that guy a fake vag as a "sorry we can't bang" gift and I think that is wonderful.

Thank you, the last time beyonce dazzled me was single ladies. She's so boring, it's always the same look, the same sound, the same moves. Yawn inducing.

Beyoncé and Taylor Swift are wack.

Beyonce's whack. Let the hate pour over me.

Apparently Bey is the only one capable of art in the entire world (assuming, of course, Kanye himself isn't involved in this scale). So you better send that ribbon next day air.

So going around trashing another artist to make your point is "respecting artistry"?? Ok Kanye. Sit the fuck down.

I can't believe the ONE time an author gets unprecedented creative control over a film adaptation, it's fucking E.L James and 50 Shades of Grey.

I am in no way defending this trash heap, but everyone's acting like this horrible movie just fell from the sky into their laps as if it weren't something they agreed to do.

Let's be fair: Stephanie Meyer should get some of the blame for the books as well.