I'm sorry he's still stalking her, but good for her for getting out.

I'm wondering if anyone else realized after they had already gone through the ceremony that it was doomed? At my wedding reception my best friend walked up and hugged me and said cheerfully "Don't have kids!" And I said without thinking, "I know!" We had been together for almost 9 years, got married, and I left after…

Yours was way cooler than mine, however, very stylish at least. The pros of the Squareback were that I could fit lots of people and it was pretty good on gas. The cons were that it had a psychotic electronic fuel injection system that malfunctioned and was expensive to get a mechanic to work on. You notice you never…

Right, I'm not particularly mechanically inclined, and I learned in a day. My dad tried to teach my by explaining all about torque and blah blah blah, which just ended with me stalling out each time. Then the guy who sold me my first car (an awful VW Squareback) showed me how to do it by listening to the engine.…

Thank you, for taking one for the team. I had almost the same experience reading the Twilight series, I started out hate reading, hated reading them, but had to read them all. Thanks to you I know that I don't need to read 50 shades of anything. And I laughed so much through this post, you are seriously hilarious.

I can help with the first two questions, the third depends on your willingness to just use your own hard-earned PTO. I usually pull the tampon string forward, it then just gets damp a tiny bit rather than the whole string being soaked. As to the second question, BLACK underwear. Seriously, black underwear, no stains.

That is EXACTLY what they look like.

My only quibble would be that it's an insult to cunts, and weasels for that matter.

I just couldn't take her seriously, what with the all-lower-case thing, and the ridiculous idea that joining a sorority is a "rational approach towards being successful," or the idea that Anna must "hate men who realize that looking presentable is required if you want to be successful in certain settings." Because we…

Yeah no. She's the FLOTUS, she's gorgeous, she's wearing Michael Kors which is not shameful in any way because he's awesome, and she's wearing an age appropriate power suit. She's amazing.

I've always thought a lot of her humor is racist, and not all that funny when she's doing it. Don't get me wrong, I think she's an awesome woman, and does a lot of interesting stuff, and her writing is often thoughtful and thought provoking. I think she has a hardcore group of fans that laugh at anything she says…

I would love to see Jennifer Beals in that role, though she's a bit older than she should be. She could totally pull it off.

I do remember learning this years ago in a Business Law class, that if someone wanted to write a check on a watermelon, as long as the bank knew who the writer of the check was and there were funds to draw from that it would be considered legal tender. Granted, this was back in the day when you actually had to go to…

Bless their hearts.

Yeah, all I heard was someone whose voice wasn't hitting the high notes, most likely because she'd spent too much time talking, and from being out in the cold air. She even sounded a little hoarse to me. I think people are so used to hearing everything filtered through god damned AutoTune that the forget what a human…

Yeah, my daughter is just 9. When she was born, the nurses asked "What's her name?" When we told them, they all chimed in unison, "Thank God, not another Sophia!" Sophia is her older cousin's name, so yeah. And I have two friends with daughters named Olivia, so yeah.

I did tell her that I would teach her everything I know when the time comes.

My 9 year old just had her birthday, and said "I wonder if I'll get a letter when I turn 11." I seriously did not know what to say. I hated to shatter the illusion, but then ouch, the impending disappointment.

I'm making a pitch for the Flywheel app in San Francisco, it's been great. It used to be difficult to get a cab in my neighborhood, since it was far from downtown, but using Flywheel it takes 5 minutes to be on the road, about the same time as it takes to get Uber. Rather than calling one cab company and hoping for a…

Please create this Pinterest board so that I can follow you and we can spread the horror throughout the Pinterverse.