Look. When you’re Ubisoft, they just let you do it. You just fire up the computer and render that pussy.

I didn’t know arguments stopped being valid after so many years.

I find the reality that we all have genitals extremely offensive.

Lame. I hope the naked dude pissing on the sidewalk is still there when I buy the game, because that is easily the cherry on top of the San Francisco realism for this game. You haven’t spent any real time in the city until you’ve seen a nude guy sporting wood outside your apartment.

Actually, Hillary won the popular vote. So you racist idiots won on a technicality. I also doubt that losers like yourself even understand what that means.

They’re webcomics, what do you expect? If you want some real reactions, look at the people fearing for their lives and family in real life.

Nostalgia flavors reality as surely as the most potent of spices, true.

But these damn kids need to get the hell off my lawn with their complaints about cords.

What, with their cell phones, and their Twitters, and their Internets—it’s like they think they’re too good for the old ways, rather than having had the poor…

Y’know, I’m kind of an old, relatively speaking, but I cannot for the life of me fathom the complaints relative to “short controller cords.”

If the NES Classic was built to evoke the look and feel of yesteryear, then guess what? The cords were short! We were tethered to our systems by them at all times, and damn it…

Are you an idiot? He didn’t win the popular vote, you’re not in the majority, get over it you miserable sack of shit.

Double XP was pretty good this week considering it perfectly portrayed the majority of the popular vote’s reaction to Trump’s presidency pretty well.

You’ll wind up creating your own hilarity, often unintentionally.

I once got caught out trying to infiltrate an outpost that was near a hill; instead of staying to fight, I decided to bug out and let the alert die down. As I was sprinting hell-for-leather from the enemy soldiers, I accidentally activated my box…

This has been on my wishlist since forever, but given my new “don’t buy games you won’t play immediately” policy, I kept putting it off. No longer.

Man, good on them. People need all the hope they can get.

If I didn’t hate him so much, I’d feel sorry for him. Because there really is no way out. Claiming health problems makes him look weak. Quitting for any other reason just makes him look like a loser, and we know what he thinks of losers. I think towards the end of the campaign he was really getting excited about …

And he’s basically at the mercy of the Secret Sevice wherever he goes. He has very little say in the matter, in the name of national security.

Yeah, but that would still hurt his brand. Remember his “doctor” said he would be “the healthiest president to ever take office”.

And now he is being surrounded by politicians, ugly, old politicians rather than young teen and 20-something ladies in revealing pageant wear. Capitol Hill where a 45 year old is considered “a baby”. This is hell for him. Just hell.

He’s not even going to be allowed to use a fully-functioning cell phone. He’s going to lose his goddamn mind.

nah

Throughout the campaign, Trump flew back to NYC nearly every single night because he can’t stand sleeping away from Trump Tower. Now he’s got to spend four years in Washington. He hates this.