You don't have to hide behind a burner, Laurence Olivier.

There are a lot of things that point to this being a bullshit story but, for some reason, saying that the "vagrant had a shank" just pushes it way over the top. I just picture the WASPiest publicist ever coming up with that one.

I can only imagine the cognitive dissonance at Fox News over the McConaughey speech. "Give him kudos for thanking God! But he won for a movie about AIDS. Is it ok because he played a straight man? Well, he was friends with a transsexual, so? But he fought for less government regulation in the film - screw big…

I feel like the mere presence of Carrie Underwood (and also Bill "SOOOOKEH" Compton) in the Sound of Music will sponteneously cause the ending to change and the Nazis will win.

Ugh. Stop trolling about Katy Perry. Who cares if she sucks? There are plenty of other places to spew hate of Katy Perry on Jezebel. Why do you have to come here to this particular topic? You really missed the fucking point.

Every time I see the Bangerz cover, a small quiet voice within me whispers "and mash."

I think it would be more appropriate to say "1000 hours of hard labor sentenced to Chris Brown."

Oh, Amanda. What could've been.