Trump would pivot to being less batshit insane if he became President, too.

Enes, if you need a place to crash and lay low for a while, hit me up. I got you bro.

Then change the photo. I’d have sex with Kate Beckinsale under almost any circumstance I can think of, and many that I have not.

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

Albert, can you tell us more about your clam?

This never would have happened to Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown. Or lesser known Minor League ace Abner “I lost my Hands to the Krauts” Holbeck.

“Taking Trump Seriously, Not Literally”

Schilling is the same guy who went absolutely batshit insane when his daughter was the subject of social media trolls a little while ago. Yet he has no problem with the Trumpster drooling over young girls. Why, it’s almost like Curt’s a giant goddamn hypocrite!

I’ve had a boner for 12 hours from watching him play. Should I seek medical attention?

I’m talking about planes, because really who wants to talk about Trump. We know he’s an awful person, and it’s depressing how many people still want to vote for him, so why not have planes?

It works great for Army! 15 straight BCS titles and counting.

Right? Which is what makes it so fucked up.

Q: Can you describe the scene in Bristol when Schilling was fired from ESPN?

There are just some subjects Brady won’t touch: Trump, Deflategate, the word “I” when followed by “am your real dad, John Moynahan.”

How has this not happened already?!?

Burning seems harsh. Can’t we first just toss him in a lake and see if he floats?

It’s literally impossible to keep track of all the hypocrisies at this point. The books written about this election will have separate volumes of footnotes. Some screenwriter is going to have an anyeurism in Starbucks trying to unpack all this three months from now.

Why is Ghouliani appearing on Meet The Press, shouldn’t he be haunting a opera house somewhere?

Look at the bright side, at least the high winds didn’t get anyone from Notre Dame killed this time.