It appears the article completely contradicts its own headline. The details seem to indicate that the five second rule doesn't work on lab surfaces intentionally coated with freakishly huge amounts of pathogens, but here in the real world where the buttered toast dropping is actually occuring it appears to work just…

Yep you're 100% right, they are actually profitable except for the fact that unlike any public or private business in the US, they had to pay the pensions for employees who were 10 when the law was enacted.