Not to defend overpriced shitty burgers and awful domestic brews, but at Fenway you can actually buy Legal’s Chowder from a guy walking up and down the aisle, Harpoon IPA from most beer stalls, and Cisco Whale’s Tale if you know where to look. The last time I went to Yankee Stadium, the “good” concession was Johnny…

If an expensive music video made by a millennial centimillionaire to whine about another millennial millionaire poaching her employees is a manifesto of any kind, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to read it.

If you only have it "for the next several years," does that imply that you leased? I love the idea of the GTI, but what looks like a fantastic deal to purchase suddenly becomes less so when I realize that BMW will lease you a 3-series for what VW wants in order to lease a GTI - and I haven't been able to get…

A voicemail I received at 10:30am on Tuesday, September 11, 2001:

Seconded (fourthed?) on the Gustbuster. If I had to nominate just one model, I think the Classic is the perfect size; I keep one in my office, one on the back parcel shelf of my car, two at home. I've never had one break, I've never had one flip out on me, and they're substantially less expensive than most "luxury"…

Seconded (fourthed?) on the Gustbuster. If I had to nominate just one model, I think the Classic is the perfect…

A two-to-one ratio of rye to Martini & Rossi red will taste, not like candy, but maybe like those weird candies your grandpa kept in a jar. Four-to-one-to-one of rye, sweet vermouth and dry vermouth tastes like heaven. If you're going to stick with sweet vermouth only, at least keep it closer to three-to-one.

That's a good idea! But it leads to another problem: if I've put the stuffing on the baking dish to soak in all the juices that come out of the bird while cooking, then what do I use to make a gravy? It's a domino effect of ruining my childhood.

Does being an adult mean that I can't stuff my chicken full of Stove Top before I cook it? Because if that's true than I'm selling my house and my car and my SUV and my roasting pan and moving back into my childhood home where I can get some goddamn stuffing with my roast chicken.

Who, these guys?

Sharper will no doubt be surprised to learn that, in federal sentencing, the "maximum" number is typically more relevant than the smaller "guaranteed" number.

You're ignoring the bigger issue. This is about ethics in automotive journalism. #drivergate.

"Tom Brady's not the greatest quarterback of all time, not even after winning his fourth Super bowl and third Super Bowl MVP, so cool it with that talk. But he's quite probably the most successful."

A defensive play by an undrafted rookie, no less. Coaching up a kid who shouldn't even have been there to know exactly what was coming and put him in a position to win the Super Bowl speaks to the greatest coach in the history of the game.

"Durr... What?"

I don't know what to do with good white people.

I use the Rose. I have ludicrously sensitive skin, to the extent that my face turns red like I've been lying in the desert all day if I use even the "sensitive skin" versions of any mainline shaving cream, and I've never had the slightest hint of irritation ever since I found this stuff. Available on Amazon. $25 is…

I use the Rose. I have ludicrously sensitive skin, to the extent that my face turns red like I've been lying in the…

Um, I'd suspect that "reckless endangerment" falls within the realm of "act done with intent to endanger the safety" etc. I don't see anything in the treaty requiring an intent to endanger a specific person. That's like saying you could loosen the bolts on an airplane but skate for it because you didn't know who was…

Being cognizant of mortality fucking sucks balls.

Yeah, that occasional fog will really slow down an offense.

Pop quiz: If you live in far southwestern Arizona, are you better off getting Oakland @ Cleveland than your buddy the next town over who's blacked out?