Pre-marital counseling was such a big "NO" for Mr. Wont and I that we changed officiants because one of them insisted on multiple counseling sessions, and the other is my uncle who was like "I know you."

She's 24, Dunham's 27, and I count it a productive day if I time my water intake so my bladder doesn't burst on my commute, and have something besides potato chips and/or cheese for dinner.

Waaaaiiit a second. Of course they're all uptalking, answers are in the form of a question!

What makes you uncomfortable with Demi's proven preference? Is it because you equate the sexing of a young by an old with abuse of power? I mean, that's pretty much the mainstream attitude so I'm not surprised, but we're not talking about minors or teenagers here.

Age difference doesn't make you creepy. Being creepy makes you creepy.

I'm in LAX-area Los Angeles, and my coworker just turned on the air conditioner because it was "getting a little stuffy, right?"

I, I who looked forward to Juanuary ever since he was revealed as the next Bachelor, could not watch twenty minutes of the "Countdown to Juanuary" episode last night. I who gleefully reveled in dedicated hate-watching, who regularly defended the habit! I was SO.BORED. SOBORED, not even my weekend juice-cup of peach…

I, for one, think that jumpsuit is totally cute. Maybe if it had its buttons down the front it would be easier for peeing.

Dolphin chews puffer fish to get high > naturalists document that behavior > David Attenborough narrates that behavior > I watch it, high.

My husband.

I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas, and guess what I just got on amazon for a mere twenty-one dollars? THE ENTIRE SERIES OF PLANET EARTH IN HD AND NONE OF THIS SIGOURNEY WEAVER NONSENSE EITHER.

I still think about this story every time I unwrap a new tampon.

HEY HEY IT'S THE MONKEES!

Oh my God, could they not find any tree skirts?

It's still small enough of an event as a series that I think if you go and stand in line at the Bing Theatre there at the museum at 6:30 sharp, you can still buy a standby ticket. Every live read is awesome. My sister in law and her husband are season pass holders and got me tickets so I was super lucky! It was…

I'M SEEING AMY POEHLER TONIGHT OMG OMG OMGGGGGG.

I have nothing but disdain for this guy's half-baked internet stalking abilities. He couldn't find her himself? Then he doesn't deserve to find her.

I've also always called mine a "salt tooth" too! When we go up to my folks' for Christmas there's always an abundance of sweet treats and butterscotch bars and whatnot; the running joke is we have to make at least one savory treat, or "salt bars," for me.

Man, I was really hoping "Pizza" was going to be a cover of "Jesus."

You'll have to be patient, but you can bet I'll want to e-brag about my sweet-ass office door! GET IT, "SWEET" LIKE CANDY???