Well since we're talking about groupies: Mr. Wont's old band is on the Dusk til Dawn soundtrack. Texas Funeral. I'm kind of like his permanent groupie except not really because I had no idea he had any fame until after I started dating him.

I bet those girls will be a lot less shocked than I was, however, when that actually happens to them one of these days. Apparently it's like a nosebleed? IT CAN JUST HAPPEN YOU GUYS.

I would also watch the hell out of a gay Bachelor/ette.

Fine, I'll go to the FUN CORNER with JLaw and we'll laugh and laugh about all the squares who have to understand the sequin circle intellectually to appreciate it.

...am I the only one who thinks the sequin-circle is totally cool? I dig it! It's interesting.

This actually sounds like the perfect job for me. Paid to cyber-stalk and then making a totally awkward conversation sound like NBD? Be all like, educating and helpful and objective in a crazy situation? Sign me up!

Maybe she's trolling and the last sandwich will be a history of the oppressive patriarchy, between two pieces of moldy bread, topped with a picture of her giving the finger taped to a toothpick.

Whatever it is, it won't be as glorious as what Roland Deschane is already doing.

Ooh how fun, if you haven't used the list feature yet!

Injured hiker! I'm going as a lost hiker, with just my regular hiking clothes and black eyeshadow smudges and some leaves and stuff in my hair.

My dad cooked every night, since during our young childhood he was in grad school and my mom worked night shifts at the Holiday Inn to keep it all together. We were a food/clothes bank family but I do not have one memory of want; we were little, what did we care if we were poor? We were one of those rarities (I…

Hey, the last thing he needs is a bunch of gay kremlins running around telling him his white lenin suits are out of style, okay?

Bachelorette parties are just the tip of the iceberg for these types of wealthy, self-centered people-getting-married. Engagement parties (one in the town where they live, one in their parents' town, and one in the town where the other person's parents live), bachelorette parties (one in Vegas, one in town where they…

1. Who gets the chalet on Schweitzer mountain in Sandpoint, Idaho where my parents live, Orlando or Miranda? Hopefully Orlando so my family can continue hilariously pranking each other that we saw Orlando Bloom at WalMart.

My eyes go from green to grey when I'm really sick? This has been happening my whole life...commence worrying now.

GAH CHINO HILLS IS MY HOMETOWN AND I USED TO DRIVE PEYTON REALLY LATE AT NIGHT COMING HOME FROM MY BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE.

Is "Because we're both reading a classic novel wherein a wife and the husband's best friend have an affair, and it's so good that we get very riled up and talk about the novel as though gossiping about our real friends, and then we do it" positive or negative?

It's...it's beautiful.

I live in LA too, and it's very much to my liking. I get my GTFO of Dodge kicks out on hiking trips with the hubs. My best friend did leave town, though, and did 4 years hard time in rural Washington. Not in prison. She wasn't in prison. She was just actually in a house made out of straw bales. It was a really…

I totally didn't mean to demean nerds, first off. You gotta talk shop with the OH if that's what does it for ya! I'm a nonprofit administrator and Mr. Wont is a musician; there's not much "shop" to talk about with my job...unless you count straight-up bitching. I do a lot of that.