Pictured: A guy who dyes and two guys I hope die.

Bat-Shit-Crazy was also Manny Ramirez's to-do list in Boston.

This is just a very elaborate roos.

Lenny Dykstra experienced his own Twilight Saga: Breaking Down when his Scirocco overheated at 5pm.

@LivesOdomy was an unfortunate first choice for Khloe Kardashian's twitter handle.

I know I'm gonna win this one. I gonna move in front of you.

The meanest/best cobbler I've ever had resoled my Dolce & Gabbana wingtips and then hit me in the head with a hammer.

Andy Reid always trusts his gut, and that is why he goes with the McGriddle with egg and cheese instead of that pansy-ass egg McMuffin.

Just think about all those poor horses that were sent to the glue factory before they could tell their story.

And "K" stands for asshole.

You know what bothers me? Why do they call it taking a dump, when you're really LEAVING a dump?

Conversation 2 minutes after this interview:

I am sexually attracted to young boys? I am sexually attracted to young boys.

Yet no American sports writer will ever refer to his play as gutty.

This isn't the first interview he's given considering he has answered the question "Why are you doing this to me?" dozens of times.

I did the right thing...you guys know me...the truth is not out there fully...I didn't just turn and run...I made sure it stopped...I had to make quick tough decisions.

He was heading to Detroit because he thought 8 Mile would be four times the fun.

During the interview process, Duquette's laid out the projected loss total and average runs per game over the first 6 years of his stint with the Orioles.

Oh no, Matt Leinart is black was his agent's reaction when Matt showed up to the Halloween party dressed as Vince Young.

Ritzy, tree-smothered is also an excellent description of Sonny Bono's death.