After the accident, the trophy was renamed The Mario Reyes Cup.

Oliver Miller pistol whipped the grillmaster because he only put 4 patties and 18 slices of cheese on his burger instead of the 6 and 30 Big O had requested.

We're not going to dissect this disconcerting meltdown

Yewri Guillen is still better than most of the Mets prospects.

So I go outside with her, my balls feeling like boulders.

Roethlisberger's cell phone crotch shots remind me of Ansel Adams' work.

Steal her panther turd was just under Let loin cloth fly up on Tarzan's list of ways to impress Jane.

@Telemundo: A stereotypical, low income, 16 year old Hispanic man.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Thanks. Almost through week 2, and things are going pretty well. The timing is great too because he saved me a ton on Christmas gifts. "Oh sorry, I've been too busy with a baby to go out and get you anything, but thanks for that bottle of wine."

@IronMikeGallego: Thanks. Always nice when the wife wakes up and sees the empty 6 pack which I consumed while watching the baby. I call it male bonding.

@Phintastic: Gave me a whole new level of respect for my wife, that is for damn sure. Didn't know she was capable of digging that deep and getting it done. Awesome, awesome experience.

@Walk Off HBP: That is awesome, you "fuckwit".

Been out the last few weeks as I have become a father. Incredible experience...better than I could have imagined. The good news is that the routine calls for me to be on duty for the 8-11pm shift while mom sleeps. That means a few beers, dvr, and some DUAN.

That cookie looks more like Butch Lumpkin.

Metaphor was the stripper he met after the game.

It's like you just fingerblasted a dead seal.

Not to be confused with the enlarged prostate and constipation blog Going Concerns.

That is also the outfit Chuck Finley would wear before trying to put the moves on Tawny Kitaen.

IBHOFF can still be found on the license plate of David's Corvette, which is most likely in the liquor store parking lot.

Dexter Manley is excited to know he can finally forge someone's signature.