@Eddie Murray Sparkles: +1 COTY stretch run

The Brett Favre costume penis is still safe and sound in Peter King's necklace locket.

Sadly, Pitt was only able to pay for half of Dave Wannstedt's mustache.

The Badger Herald is like The Onion, right?

Looking at this list, Deadspin is approaching a Sports Illustrated curse. I heard that Baby Mangino already has diabetes.

Shoulda been you, Joe Theismann.

Little known fact: David Carradine was a HUGE Temple football fan.

"Damn you guys. This totally reminds me of the time I went down on this skank with a pussy so big I got a two week old tampon stuck in my nose."

@Armen Tamzarian: +1

The good news for Rena is that the lice check won't take long during her prison booking process.

@Always Winning: I saw an article where they had calculated Tiger's handicap and it was something like a +13. Just a totally different game they are playing.

A free spirit being ejected amid confetti reminds me of the time Paul Lynde was kicked out of Liberace's Halloween party for dressing as a giant fist.

Pictured: crowd reaction after the announcement the stadium had run out of nacho cheese sauce.

We're glad to get the whole issue behind us.

RichRod is playing the airflute to Kenny G's latest album to get over this embarrassment.

@Peter Nincompoop: Probably not the right time to mention that I made the leaning joke because Ron lost his legs.

That reminds me of the time I left my sex machine next to my tape deck. My dad thought it was a chainsaw, but only ended up hammering that tree with a giant dildo.

He slipped — which means he was a little nervous, which means he has a soul.

So it wasn't the sober analysis you might want.

I love how Peter Falk just waves(3:25). I am pretty sure they just plopped him in front of a green screen and asked "Who needs a diaper change?"