Most of my anonymous emails to women I haven't met have "Funbags" as the subject.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's to celebrate's Martha's week dedicated to "Soul Food and Non-Threatening African American Men". Tomorrow, Bryant Gumbel sings by to share his chitlins recipe.

In my imagination, it originated in the time of Andrew McCarthy and was uttered when Mescach Taylor couldn't see that the Mannequin came alive.

Karen Owen ran the marathon and reportedly Could. Not. Walk. for a week.

there were too many plays out there that were just bad plays

John Phillips used to look befuddled after doing lines and going through his children.

That's nothing. When Schlabach insulted Fig Newtons, Shelley Smith tried to stab him with an ice pick.

Tatar had heard the coach likes buck teeth, so she by impressed him by eating corn on the cob through a chain link fence.

Much ink has been spilled

Wade's mom now has to care for two bums.

Miami entered as a giant favorite

My stripper geography usually includes Boobburgh, the Fudge Tunnel, C-Section Scarsdale, and Lower Backtat.

I imagine that the BRIFT is a collection of toupees, some of Sally Fields' bras, and a bunch of sex tapes featuring Burt and Dom DeLuise.

The fighting jockeys are interested in battling the fighting NASCAR drivers for the Intercontinental Midget Tag-Team Title.

After writing that letter, Selig put his freshly pulled tooth under his pillow, pulled the chain on his nightstand lamp, and drifted off to sleep with the blissful thoughts of waking up to a shiny quarter dancing in his mind.

this is the wrong ball, guys, I'll go get the right one, hold on a sec

Sadly, the original Captain Hindsight was a result of years and years of pirate inbreeding which lead to his eyes being just behind his ears.

his little baby left uppercut

Shit. I should have hid there.