I am sure the owner of the Segway company made a smooth, seamless transition into the afterlife.

Make your move, retard.

The Campus Magnet parent later said "That's just not attractive. Its the polar opposite of how you should behave."

When the photographer suggested that Ines took pictures with his junk, this was not what he had in mind.

Antonio Cromartie tried to be there for the deliveries, but he would've missed the entire 2007 season.

Archdiocese means your foot is infected.

The 1986 Donkey Kong champion was also Coke fueled.

@Kid Canada: He fixes the cable?

but I remember I just had cum dangling from my chin, so I thought it was best to let the evening end.

"You know what is cool? Head."

Are we sure they weren't there for Steve Croft? My grandma says she gets sticky knickers every time he appears on screen.

just moved to cali from nyc...and looking for a job! hahaha. any suggestions...

"Let me get my gloves."

In a Shocking Turnaround?

"And THAT, kids, is what you do to a woman if she talks back to you. Now who's got the next round of beers? Jonny, I think it's your turn."

@Steve U: *shudders*

@Sheed's Bald Spot: No. Bad chemistry will inevitably carry over onto the field. Ship that shithead out and try to get some compensation.

But for 4 fucking dollars a taco, they better be some flavorful baby fists.

@DanteBichettesPeak: I imagine Magary and his prep school friends gave many playful goosings with a bat handle.

Does the Jimmy Fund supply awkward shoes to weekend athletes looking to jump higher?