@Steve Grogan Bud Bowl MVP: Damn. "Marry rich" was the best advice I never followed.

I bet Ken Tremendous doesn't even know who W.C. Heinz is.

"Hey, it may not mean anything, but at least it sounds like shitty poetry!"

Surprising. I thought he would have gone with "the finest construction since the Swedish castle built by that whore, Elin".

Where does the word "glove" come from?

Well, he is alert — he responds to stimuli, which lets me know he has a functioning central nervous system.

He was doing minimal activities, and nothing baseball related.

Guys really seemed to be having fun — just shoving bats up each others' butts and walking around naked.

@AzureTexan: Bravo...that was awesome and disturbing.

That is some forced shit.

Bill's other unpublished book "Eating Cleanup" goes into great detail about getting even the smallest crumbs with tweezers and licking the plates until they are sparkling.

You can unfollow me since I am now uncool.

Hot Steve U is what he calls himself on chatroulette after a few glasses of pinot grigio.

This is going to be one of the best days in the histrionics of Deadspin.

@Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: She is here...waiting to be approved under PhilliesGirl. This should be fun.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: +1.21 gigawatts

@Sheed's Bald Spot: I had the same thing happen to me, except she threw away all my pogs and my bathroom aroma spray which doubled as my body wash and deodorant. What a bitch.

I'm about to puke excitement all over this Page.

It reminded him of that scene in Teen Wolf where Daniel-San awkwardly showed Drago how to hang his Larry Bird poster.

We might have to get another contest to design The Player Protect poster because it is obviously too complicated.