LeBron: The Retraction

It became a little awkward when one of the jury members had been arrested for being a "Goat Zinger".

@MarkKelsosMigraine: To be Franko with you, I doubt many readers will get the reference.

This sequel was still less disgusting than Blues Brothers 2000.

Was it George Costanza and Marisa Tomei?

The last time I saw this much misplaced anger at something with 8 arms was when I killed the 4 prostitutes for failing to bring me to climax.

Professor Clayton laughs maniacally as he twirls his ponytail.

@ScientificMapp: Jim Gentile was the original name of Huck Finn's friend before a last minute Twain rewrite.

@Shut_up_Dorn: Awesome

@Delonte, Interrupted: They come with an optional cilice in case you have impure thoughts.

The bottom line for fringe players fighting to keep their roster spot for another week is that they are going to sacrifice their own well-being for another paycheck every single time. NFL coaches need players who are available, not ones who are out with headaches. It's either play through it, or hit the job market…

@MarkKelsosMigraine:I remember reading about the drastic dip in starter's ERA in that magical 1660 season when Chief Long Feather went 32-2 for the Iroquois.

The gay softball league announces its 15th straight season of "Year of the Catcher"

Meanwhile, Al Davis is tapping out a morse code message that he cut JaMarcus Russell.

Once they are done staring at her chest, the police should check out the man in the purple shirt who is apparently handcuffed to the fence.

Fight Might Have Broken Mommy Up was the original title of the Oakland Burger King post.

"Yes, yes, yes, and yes."

But he is still MUCH less of a cocksucker than Vicki Vette and Bobbi Eden.

Can I nominate these two as "America's dumbest student athletes"?

My son going to the bathroom for the first couple thousand times...those are monumental moments.