Haha look at all these moochers in the comments getting all upset. 9/10, good troll.

This is about the best comment on this particular issue I've seen.

Yeah I think his major beef is with his employer for shafting him on the good shifts after this, so the 75 k would probably be on them instead of the Rockets anyways

is 75k spread out between all the players of an NBA locker room even significant?

It was a joke though. They try really hard to be funny here on Deadspin with mixed results.

STAAHHHP

6'2" in an MK4 Jetta TDI. Put 220,000 on it and counting, all in comfort.

50% utilization? That'll get you shot in Germany.

Ballin on a budget bro

Great point, filing this one away in the memory banks for future use.

Splendid.

I always hated you guys.......until I joined you.

Considering all the innocent people that get shot by police this seems pretty accurate

If by basketball you mean shootyhoops then yes

You sold me on "through clever use of farts". Its making me think my everyday fart usage isnt quite clever enough...

I think I read that you can blow up gas stations now, or soon, so were getting there.

fuck the police

Yeah....I'm not sure they would have killed him off like they did if he quit for medical reasons.

unless its a MKIV TDI...then it has no equal.

Oh man I had that one. The Hutts tried to replicate the death star but mostly just the superlaser right? So it looked like a giant space peni....lightsaber.