I have a cat named Lady Gaga. She has to wear pajamas because of her over grooming. You can feel bad for her. And also think she is adorable.

The real difference between the two is I’d fuck Jon Hamm.

That’s sort of too fucking bad for him. Don’t have sex with teenagers while married if you are so concerned about your image. Fuck Ford.

I can’t imagine Melania has any intention of fulfilling the duties— or even an idea what they are — of being First Lady.

“This is going higher than her.”

To be perfectly honest, my first reaction was feeling bad for the shark.

How else are you supposed to grab a pussy?

One of the worst things about this election is learning exactly what percentage of Americans are total monsters.

What made me happy this week is that after weeks of practice I’m finally making progress on the Chopin piece that was giving me so much problems. It’s still rough but I’m getting there.

I’m closing on a house. It’s a lot smaller than I had wanted, but am excited - and stressed - about it. Should know for sure on Friday. Eek!

Annnnd here is the contact information for the hon. Judge Gary J. Gilman, if you would care to voice your displeasure at his less than judicious ruling to allow a violent criminal who posed an active danger to another person free:

If you have never read Slaughterhouse-Five, stop what you are doing and plunk down the $2 right now.

If you have never read Slaughterhouse-Five, stop what you are doing and plunk down the $2 right now.

So you were, what? Twelve? Sixteen? A kid. You didn’t “live through it.” You sure as fuck didn’t bury a symbolic casket containing a few bone fragments of a friend, colleague, and dedicated public servant after a group of sociopaths flew his plane into the Pentagon. Were you even old enough to vote in 2001? If not,…

You tell the truth as well as Trump does.

I thought you were going to stop bothering me with “facts” and “truth”? Are you in love with me?

Who said you were? #readingcomprehension

Using Trump tweets as a style guide- sad!

Pussy up, nutsack. Shit’s about to get real.

Despise the use of the word “pussy” to mean weak. The word should be reclaimed and used to denote strength. For example, “Serena’s tennis game is so pussy! She is amazingly talented.”

White men getting offended over other people getting offended is the most pussy shit of all. Just fucking get over it.