The government should mandate that every shopping mall and flat-topped building in the country have solar panels that put energy back into the grid for the good of everyone else. There is so much we could do to improve the situation and yet there are still people out there who won't even fucking recycle.

PLEASE Michael Pitt! Boardwalk Empire went straight to shit when he left.

Sushi!! I ordered so much that the delivery guy gave me three sets of chopsticks and enough soy sauce for 3 people. WRONG, BUDDY! This is all just for me.

hope you're not attached to the whole regularity thing because you're gonna turn 40 at some point.

She has a long shelf life, as she is pickled.

The S WORD???? I feel so sorry for this lady. She seems so scared of sex!

I haven't read the books because I've just never been into the sexy romance genre (and I heard it was originally written as Twilight fanfiction, so no thanks), but "Holy Cow!"?

Her clothes are always flawless, but this dress...OMG I think I just came.

Fantasy me: How you doin', silver fox.

I want Joe Biden to be my dad and give me inspiring talks straight out of a '90s family sitcom.

Oh Joe, be still my heart! There are really just no words for how much I love that man!

This is why Joe Biden is my fantasy internet boyfriend. He gets so much shit for gaffes when 99% of the time, he's the smartest and most compelling guy in the room. Of course he would say this. Of course. I love him so much.

Make a formal gown out of a bunch of baguettes and a guillotine.

OLD LADIES STANDING UP

The first part of that video looked like a reenactment of me getting out of a sports bra without hooks.

Here is what I don't understand:

No, we don't hate men that want us to be healthy. We hate men on the associate level that feel compelled to make inane small talk with us about our weight / tits / ass / general appearance as if their opinion is somehow noteworthy in our lives.

Defending this sort of behavior only leads me to believe you're one of…

NO. I would really like to know who these people are now, so I know who I shouldn't vote for. Who's with me?

Don't hate the panda. Hate the game.