Twenty bucks a month? That’s without your insurance contributing, or with? I may have to look into this. Thanks!

Beauty Scully needs to be a column here, now.

Also, even if it were true that only women notice, why is that not reason enough? We’re more than half the population, damnit! Men—not everything is about you.

You know how hardware stores have this thing where you can take in a fabric swatch or paint chip and they’ll custom-mix some paint to match? Why the fuck don’t makeup counters have this for your face?

Ugh, the fact that he was doing it under your name makes it so much worse. Not only was he stealing from minimum-wage employees; he was endangering your job to cover his ass!

Got it. You’ve got no cite. Nice try.

Er, did you mean to insert a link there? Because you still haven’t produced jack shit to support your claim.

You’re right; why am I listening to an internet stranger telling a plausible story when I could be listening to a different internet stranger purporting to debunk that story without citing any sources? What was I thinking?

Oh please. You think those stories are unique?

This is the best non-food/drink favor idea I’ve ever seen.

Something edible (or drinkable) is definitely the way to go. Anything that has to be planted or put in a bird feeder or even just displayed/stored indefinitely is not a favor; it’s a burden. Mukhwas (k before h) would be good, or candy or mints or whatever. Or, radical idea: no favors. Seriously, spend that money on…

Eh, who takes baths? A lot of people I know live in tiny urban apartments and don’t even have a tub.

Do you have pictures? Were they actually beer mats, or just flat plastic printed to look like them? I want to know everything!

Tiny, yes, but useful? Only if you play guitar, and maybe not even then. I play casually and only finger-pick, so I haven’t used a guitar pick in like ten years. Still, props for cleverness and portability.

I wonder if this could backfire at some point. I know people who are just thirsty enough to deliberately try to bring something stupid onto a plane just to get on a popular instagram feed, even if it’s to be shamed.

The thing is, this behavior would be very easy to catch with an occasional audit. Every system I’ve used has an easy way to view all timecard edits with the push of a button, which also allows you to see who made each change, when they did so (i.e. immediately after an employee clocked out late because he forgot to…

Is this a thread for us to talk about monkeys being monkeys? Because I have a story!

As awful as some of these stories are, I think yours is the worst. A one-off encounter can never be as bad as an infestation in your home.

That practice is unfortunately very common. Good for you.

Names! Which putrid cesspool of restaurant fuckery was it?