I’m only slightly less ignorant than the average Starbucks customer—I at least know that there’s a lot I don’t know, and I’m always interested to learn more even though I’m probably just going to order a black drip coffee or the closest thing you have to it. So, what’s in a real mocha?

Correct.

This is the way to go. While some servers are fresh out of fucks to give, most are worried about losing their jobs if they tell you something is bad, so asking whether they would recommend X or Y is a way to get around the fact that they can’t tell you Y tastes like day-old white bread seasoned with the tears of…

Can I just say how much I love Disney? Maybe it’s just you. I don’t know whose decision it was to warn people like that, but I would’ve really appreciated it. I’ve been heartbroken a couple times over how much money I spent on an amusement park or carnival when I hardly got to do anything because it was so crowded.…

There’s a lot about this story that doesn’t make sense. Given how often stories of foreign objects in food turn out to be hoaxes perpetrated by the “victim” who “found” the needles in their soda or the finger in their chili or whathaveyou, that’s my suspicion.

In N Out shakes are really thick. Almost undrinkable, in fact. (I mean this as a compliment.) If someone put a napkin and two pills at the bottom of a cup, then spooned a shake over the top, I could see drinking quite a lot of it before noticing. What I couldn’t see is those ingredients not getting blended with the…

Like Tracy, I’m not unsympathetic to the plight of the decent guy trying to date women in this complex, changing culture in which you’re conditioned to be the pursuer, mocked if you don’t pursue hard enough, but then labeled a creep if you pursue too hard. I’m sure it’s incredibly frustrating.

Uuuuuuuugh the dickbags who won’t take “I’m not interested” for an answer but will accept “I have a boyfriend.” Because you’re not allowed to have desires of your own; the only way you can deny them is if you’re someone else’s property.

Look, I’m not here to defend religion. I’m an atheist, and I think it would be just dandy if everyone else were, too. But your condemnation of religion as the source of homophobia is misplaced. If we’re going to create a better world, we need to pick our battles and focus on the things that matter. Plenty of people…

May I make a suggestion? Egg-laying hens endure some of the worst conditions of all factory-farmed animals. There are alternatives, though you have to do your research (“natural” means nothing; “cage-free” alone is only a minimal improvement; ideally you want a local farmer who doesn’t de-beak or force molting, and…

Further evidence that the Bible is not “the greatest story ever told.” If it had been written by a halfway competent writer, the Tree of Knowledge would have been a motherfucking cheese block. Nobody sacrifices their immortal soul for an apple. Come on.

Sure, each individual book takes up very little space, but I could essentially fill a closet with my collection. Closets are valuable real estate in New York. Sometimes you gotta pare that shit down. Doesn’t make what he did OK—he should have made sure to clear all the books he was getting rid of with her—but getting…

Oh God yes, the ripple effect! We might go three weeks without a birthday, but as soon as we do the song, two or three more tables ask for it while everyone else grows more irritated as their dinner conversation is interrupted yet again.

Hey! We’re here to celebrate a very special day! The day you were born and we’d like to say, we’re gonna sing and dance and play, hey! Then you’ll blow out your candles and we’ll be on our way. It’s your birthday now! Do what you wanna do! It’s a Ruby’s birthday party and we’re singing for you! Whoooooooooooo!

Thanks! I’m thinking of a guest list in the neighborhood of 60-80, so buffet might still be cheaper.

All the stars for this. Also, it’s not as if PP is whisking pregnant black women off the street and murdering their children. They are providing a service those women request. You can’t say PP is murdering black babies without implying that black women are murdering their own babies. And you can’t pretend to be an…

What is that number, approximately?

Eh, I would disagree with that, actually. I’ve said this before, but there are two ways a society might define rape. (For clarity of pronouns in this example, let’s assume all rapists are men and all victims are women, though obviously that’s not the case.)

I mean, I’m prepared to not vote for him anyway based on a million other valid reasons, even if he turns out to be the kind of mensch who holds out for explicit verbal consent and then goes down without complaint to make sure the lady always gets hers first. But yes, this.

Anyone who uses animal products should, but most don’t.