I'm also a teacher, and as a teacher I realize that not all children have the same handwriting or printing skills...

. . . I know standards for handwriting have dropped, but do you consider yourself an adult, and does that resemble your handwriting?

That's how Kramer ended up with fusilli jerry up the kazoo. So there's that

I've said it before, and will continue to say it: Please, from all the nurses out there, if you're going to shove something in one of your holes, just tie a goddamned string around it first!

I don't get the tone of this article. So they didn't instill certain values early enough; should they just let their unchecked consumerism and spoiled behavior go on forever, or try to shift their outlooks now? Anything that makes kids less obnoxious when it comes to Christmas is good in my book. There is nothing…

I highly doubt this service would assume you're going to do that, or people just have nothing but first editions laying around. Do you not have books that aren't first editions?

Yeah, no, some things are just so completely ridiculous as to be perfectly warranted of public ridicule. If an organization went around claiming the earth was flat or the moon was made of cheese, the response would not be "well, you have the right to your own beliefs on things", it would be well-deserved mockery.

This diagram explains it all.

Scientology: Religion as conceived by The Onion.

So having your hands up and saying why are you shooting me I don't have a gun isn't cooperating? A man already on the ground and restrained isn't cooperating by repeatedly trying to tell the cops he is literally dying? A 12 year old sat on the swings in a park with a toy is at fault for somehow not knowing the…

Let's get one thing clear, the black community didn't pull the trigger the shooter did. This only reflects on the "black community" if the person doing the reflecting is stupid enough to view blacks as a monolith. Don't be that person or give those people cover for their flawed thinking. This fool also shot his gf…

This can work in a pinch, but it works on a slightly different principle than conventionally made meringues. In either case, the eggs are used as a protein to create a foam/suspension to hold gasses that create that light airiness that is the hallmark of a nice meringue.

I want you to know that I HATE ALL ROMANCE TYPE STUFF and I hate those stupid gimmicky proposals but

Mirena means you won't bleed like a stuck pig, though.

Not gonna lie, my not having a period in 3 years is a awesome benefit of my Mirena. But I am happy you're happy with your choice of contraception!

Are you giving up sex for lent too?

Sounds more like you're an asshole than someone breached the rules of common decency.

I think we need to focus less on the fart and more on the idiot who isn't getting a flu shot.

Nothing ruins a romantic moment quite like the word "vagina."

It also helps to have a really expensive pen in your hand while you read. A Mont Blanc Starwalker Doue, for example