I am so goddamn sick and tired of this “waah, everybody gets trophies nowadays” shit.

I agree, that was a poor troll. Dan Marino is pretty much the only good thing that’s happened to the Miami Dolphins since 1973. (Even Don Shula could be taken to task for keeping Tom fucking Olivadotti around for eight years, when a merely average defense could have won them a Super Bowl.)

Beckham also didn’t look at the neighborhood around the Marlins park and see it’s a burned-out crack ghetto nobody wants to set foot in. He didn’t visit the site of the “old” (b. 1987) Miami Arena, where this revitalize-the-neighborhood shit has already failed. He didn’t look at a demographic map and see this location…

I will never understand why Isiah Thomas keeps getting opportunities like this. He’s that guy in your office who’s an asshole to everyone, fucks up every single thing he touches, can’t follow the simplest rules, throws everybody under the bus the second it’s convenient to his career, and gets promoted every time.

This needs more stars.

Once again, XKCD has a prescient strip:

Whoever illustrated this is a goddamn genius. That is all.

I also want to defend the "footlong" person, for a different reason.

Not exactly a complete list, but the best treatments of the subject you could ever ask for:

I just want to say that all your comments here have been fantastic stuff. I can't help but think that so many societal problems could be solved if there were more early teaching of empathy and boundaries.

"Obama: Anime is Definitely Real" with an ALERT ALERT ALERT crawl? This must be the Fox News version.

I'm surprised Washington isn't higher in the list of NFL teams people don't want to play for.

Good to know. I can't imagine how awful childhood must be when you have such toxic people as parents. Makes me feel lucky.

Thank you, and thanks to everyone who answered.

I guess "nparent" is "narcisstic parent", but what's an "emother"?

Relevant:

Did anyone else click this story expecting to see a person escaping from a burning building, rather than a person who was INTENTIONALLY LIT ON FIRE? Even by Russia standards, that's crazy.

Here's the part that struck me:

They'd have to be. No wife would unwillingly put up with this shit. The railing prank alone is grounds for divorce in all 50 states.

I could have said that better. I was agreeing with you that some people are so self-deluded they don't realize their behavior is offensive. Or continue to deny that they committed the act in the face of ironclad proof.