Once again, XKCD has a prescient strip:

Whoever illustrated this is a goddamn genius. That is all.

I also want to defend the "footlong" person, for a different reason.

Obligatory:

Not exactly a complete list, but the best treatments of the subject you could ever ask for:

One of George Carlin's albums lists the fizz, the fazz, the fizz-fazz, the ripshit, the tear-ass, the snorter, and the one that goes woooooosh.

I just want to say that all your comments here have been fantastic stuff. I can't help but think that so many societal problems could be solved if there were more early teaching of empathy and boundaries.

"Obama: Anime is Definitely Real" with an ALERT ALERT ALERT crawl? This must be the Fox News version.

I'm surprised Washington isn't higher in the list of NFL teams people don't want to play for.

Good to know. I can't imagine how awful childhood must be when you have such toxic people as parents. Makes me feel lucky.

Thank you, and thanks to everyone who answered.

I guess "nparent" is "narcisstic parent", but what's an "emother"?

Relevant:

Did anyone else click this story expecting to see a person escaping from a burning building, rather than a person who was INTENTIONALLY LIT ON FIRE? Even by Russia standards, that's crazy.

Here's the part that struck me:

Your comment deserves more stars.

Ooo! Let's work out how much.

...and only one combination of symbols that would have produced a symbolic message pertaining to the 9-11 attacks. There was also a plane, a building, a bomb, a frowny face, and probably others that would suffice.

They'd have to be. No wife would unwillingly put up with this shit. The railing prank alone is grounds for divorce in all 50 states.

I could have said that better. I was agreeing with you that some people are so self-deluded they don't realize their behavior is offensive. Or continue to deny that they committed the act in the face of ironclad proof.