*Belichick is definitely being an asshole.

what's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

Can we just go back to singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame?

Hilariously, probably.

This is the first documented case of an old person moving from Tampa Bay to Chicago.

When made to endure jokes about hair removal it's only natural for a beard to get quite uncomfortable.

"Hey, get off the damn court, Carroll, they're trying to interview me."

"Coach Popovich, do you think that jet fuel can burn hot enough to melt steel?"

Urban dictionary isn't a real source, you know....it's just as stereotypical and judgmental as the worst of the internet.

Nope: beets are gross.

Here's said handler screaming "NO MEANS NO!" at ESPN Deportes reporter John Sutcliffe, and to be fair "No" in English does indeed mean "No" in Spanish.

The most important thing I learned from this is that we all owe Mark Sanchez an apology.

This combines two things I hate: Phil Collins and the fact that I'm a Jets fan.

Things got awkward when talking about their favorite position, as they both answered "receiver".

He's fulfilling her Catholic schoolboy fetish.

Wow... imagine how disappointed these guys would be if they played with Peyton Manning!

Geez. If these are indeed Goodell's real thoughts, he must be dumber than anyone's imagined.

"We've been warning the public about the dangers of celebrations for years. Now will they finally listen?" - The NFL

Of course they retired his jersey. What are the odds of them having another player named Biaksangzuala?

So, he was asked to vacate. Shouldn't USC players be used to that by now?