Yes, I can, unfortunately: Tourette Syndrome. The really cool thing is, Tourette’s and OCD often appear together. Yes, that was sarcasm. Both disorders suck so hard.

The dismiss button is your friend! Everybody delete trash who reply to you so nobody has to see their diarrhea.

and most people who seem to shame mothers are other mothers who feel the need to show the internet that they are the Superior Mothers with Superior Parenting Skills who are Doing Everything Right For Their Wee Litle Special Snowflake

“Get out of my uterus” is my battle cry, too. HEY CHRISSY WE’RE THE SAME.

Yes! That's all I could focus on, and it seems really forced.

What facial expressions? Her face barely moves any more.

“Fiddle dee dee”

I, uh, may have done that too.

My sister used to practice a “pretty cry face”

I think maybe she was practicing at her dermatologist’s office between restalyn injections.

Big Gwen gives me embarrassment chills

No shit?!? I once had a long distance relationship after I got someone else’s telegram while on a I was changing trains. The telegraph operator keyed it in wrong in Virgina as I was heading out to the Spanish controlled California territories and just as I got over the Mississippi there was a message for Miss.…

Yes truly I am a massive talent, honed through the oppression I’ve experienced as a middle class white woman. I accept this honor not for me, but for all the pumpkin spice lattes and yoga pants that bravely sacrificed themselves for my cause.

I’m convinced all it is is a method of control so they can purposefully breed anxiety and then punish you for having the anxiety.

Wait...What??? Why is liking your ex’s marriage status creepy? It seem like a totally “Hey, I’m glad you’re happy and found someone you want to marry” kind of thing. I’m friends with all my ex-bfs and I still love them all and wish them happiness. I don’t want to BE with any of them. We have limited interaction that…

It could also be that the other four told you they did so. Women sometimes, um, exaggerate the amount of pleasure they are having with a male partner because of hundreds of thousands of years of conditioning to protect the male ego.

You’re assuming they aren’t faking it.

Have you read the study of how many women admit to faking orgasms? Just saying - I know a lot of women who do

This is 2015. We have technology to fix this problem now. Use it!

Step 1: Get a Magic Wand. Step 2: Profit.