Thankfully we'll never find out about the Captain's tattoo.

It wouldn't make a good infographic if there were 7 billion shapes to choose from.

"If we're gonna play this game, then how can anyone support the Jaguars?!

"The Buccaneers name is offensive to anyone hurt by the rising price of corn on the cob."

The homosexual community is fully behind the Bears.

The Seahawks name just mocks blind NFL fans who will never see a hawk in their lives!

"Jets? The 9/11 hijackers used jets as weapons. If you are a Jets fan, you support terrorism."

+3.88 GAA

"Broncos? OJ drove a White Bronco. If you are a Broncos fan, you support wife killers." - Jay Schoeder

Hextall proposed using a real cobra for the prank on Vinny Lecavalier.

INTERVIEWER: Michael, you've really taken a shining to golf in retirement. Would I be correct in assuming that we'll be seeing you a lot out on the golf course?

I can't even get into this argument, because I find divinity and creationism so dully ignorant. One book vs. science and logic. Ugh. I just can't deal with it.

If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

And if that's still not enough for you, it comes with a luggage set also made of that fancy Poltrona Frau leather. It's like you can take your car with you when you go inside the Hampton Inn or wherever it is fancy rich people stay on vacations.

"But does he have gang ties?"

All Dogs Go To Heaven and Fourteen

Um no. Skinny little you will eventually become a fat lass you because you continue to rely on a car to carry your shit around . Have you ever looked at all the empty space surround you and every other fucking moron commuting to work in a car? What the fuck kind of shit is that. It's so useless yet you people continue…

Skinny you has to pay because 'experts' are complete morons for relying on BMI to determine how healthy a person is.

"I wish they had retired my name, not my number." -Clark Gillies in reference to then Islander Trevor Gillies