That car looks like it could donate patina to other cars.

*cameraman yelling* HEY, Shaq, Yao, look over here! Three eyes on me please! OK, got it, thanks.

Maybe getting worked over by a 38-year-old is nothing to be proud of, but it still counts

Wheeler was then named the starting quarterback of the Jets by head coach Rex Ryan.

Next question?

NHL will no longer work on older Roku players.

Well done. It took me a second, but well done.

Same here. It's like he takes thoughts out of my head and can express them in a way more eloquent and beautiful than I perceived possible.

You are a dumb, dense motherfucker.

"Both of the attackers, who are brothers".

You don't want them to show you that guy who got rear-ended in the exit ramp, either.

Traffic on I-35 is raging, things are really strained on the 183 near the airport. We've got some major bulging northbound on 130 near exit 437. Meanwhile, it's just barely inching along on the Brett Favre Memorial Parkway.

It may have something to do with the pot.

I appreciate your sentiment. My '07 Civic Si does make 197hp out of a naturally-aspirated 2.0 with an 8,000 RPM redline. It's all about Honda engines...

I was just thinking they look like my Integra's B18 valve covers!

But you have said something intelligent! You said:

But don't worry, Johnson Controls CEO Alex Molinaroli won't be fired as well, despite being a full and willing participant in the affair, because of course he won't. That's how the world works.

"Could be worse."

Judging by the reaction, this guy has been enjoying amazing sex during his marriage.