Will Leitch could probably make a living as a professional fart bottlist.

Weak draft class? This was supposedly the best draft in years. The Spurs got a Magic Johnson clone at #30.

What is bad karma?

You're welcome. Now quick! Back to the White Noise cultural studies table in the cafeteria!

ding ding ding

Should I dismiss it before reading it?

Is that something that you can put on your tenure hearing? Like, a graph from Google Trends or something? I wish you all the best in that endeavor.

Is this really a song that warrants a thinkpiece? This?

A dental office that doesn't care to keep good track of its painkillers.

Whoa. Mean, bro.

Right. Those 6'5" D1 offensive linemen who are good enough to play for a top-tier program but not quite good enough for the NFL? Definitely candidates for men's soccer.

Yes, the Lowry deal was phenomenal. Aside from the Caboclo fiasco during the draft (what the fuck?), Masai is a genius.

You're doing a lot of rationalization, here. Gordon Hayward's max contract is an albatross because it is based on future value, not past production.

Why is it about Jefferson and Millsap?

He increased his USG% by 1 point and his TS% plummeted.

He knows her personally. I understand how that could get the blood running a little bit warmer, but KEEP IT IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS DUDE YOU'RE ON LIVE TV AND SHE'S YOUR COWORKER AND PROBABLY WANTS TO BE RESPECTED MORE THAN ANYTHING SINCE SHE'S PROBABLY BOMBARDED BY CHAUVINISTIC DUMBFUCKS LIKE YOU EVERY WAKING HOUR OF…

Is that a third Lakers bro in the tank top? That facial expression is too familiar...

This should be posted to Wikipedia. Can you go ahead and start the page? Make sure to note your independent research so your Kinja peers can review it.

You shouldn't respond to a guy who's obviously going the incendiary route.

That poor lady with the hearing aids on the left. That probably sounds like someone blowing a vuvuzela in your ears.