It's the same kind of analysis that has led us to know, with certainty, that the best way to 1) get playing time and 2) get a max contact is to score as many points as possible, no matter how inefficiently.

Women who powerlift (casually) consistently have the best bodies I see in gyms. Not bodybuilding, not Zumba, not spin class, not step-aerobics: powerlifting.

Agreed, there. I have no idea what could compel someone to do this for months. Maybe a transgender attitude, a psychopathic desire for fame, and a perpetually raging clue?

God no. But then again I'm not crazy enough to dupe someone for years for no discernible reason.

Squat, deadlift, rows (or chins) and military press (or bench/dip). Those four exercises, with progressive overload and the right rep range, will make anyone a monster. Everyone at Planet Fitness seems to be into the bicep curl, which has made no one sweat ever.

I can do a pretty ridiculous woman voice. When was a teenager, I would throw my voice and my mom would think that the phone was echoing on her. I still think Te'o's a liar, but this could very well be a man.

+ 1, Mel Brooks

I'm a Giants fan (if you could call my mild interest in rooting for a team of Free Agents and Compulsory Entry Draft Selections play under a corporate logo "fandom"), and I think this is about the dumbest thing you could say about this topic. The guy has been to five Super Bowls. How many more AFC Championship Games?…

No, you're right. Deadspin should just take at face value everything that a university's administration says. That's how journalism works.

It means Kenny is a much better commentator than the others. Still, terrible writing.

[everything you wrote in brackets is gold]

Wow. +$429,632,142

Exactly. And even if it were long-distance, how many relationships go three years without a face-to-face encounter? I mean, three years. THREE YEARS. It's not like she was serving in, like, Iraq, for fuck's sake.

YEAH, YOU TELL 'EM, BRO

This is one of my favorite GBV songs. Still, are they the unofficial DUAN mascot? Every other post has a song from BT or AL.

If he's a bench player, isn't he likely already sitting down?

Do most people stand up when they tweet? My cousin Alan only does it when he's already half-stuck in the futon.

It actually sounded like a movie punch. I've never heard something like that from a bare fist. Jesus christ.

Porn stars fuck on camera for money. Does that mean you can go up to them and tell them how much you'd like to fuck them for money on camera?

[Me at a party]