Call me a curmudgeon, but doesn't anyone at Jez proof read any of this shit? I see at least two punctuation errors, one grammatical error, and a spelling mistake. That's on top of the tortuous-to-the-point-of-tortious long sentences and First Degree abuse of the word "literally".

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Austin is a blueberry in a bowl of tomato soup

I love that they separate “get a manicure” and “get a pedicure” into two different items. It reminds me of how I over-itemize my work “to-do” list so I can check things off and feel like I am accomplishing something even if I’m not.

#TeamNoOne

What pisses me off most about President Dipshit inserting himself in this story is that per his proposed healthcare reform, the children suffering like that here at home would be left to die while their parents are saddled with a copious amount of medical debt.

This pretty much reinforces the fact that if your loved one is suffering a mental health crisis, do not call the police if you aren’t willing to accept the very real possibility that the call you made to help your loved one will end up with your loved one bleeding out on the floor.

I’m good with not knowing.

I’m sorry, Bobby, but if you cannot see the direct and clear way these stories are interconnected, then you have no business writing for this site. #Illuminati

So people have finally stopped endlessly defending her because she was a high profile Transgender individual and finally realised that both pre and post transition was a shitty person?

She didn’t need a lot of words. The ones she stole were great. Fantastic. Only the best words.

He was only off by two feet.

Because poor women make lawmakers feel better about themselves. Lawmakers can look at poor women and blame all negative circumstances and outcomes on those women and not the system that failed. Lawmakers get to pat themselves on the back for doing nothing to help.

We really are just the stupidest country...

Now we have to be the best mothers to our spawn before they’re born by shoving a musical tampon in for no reason?

I have a daughter, and if she’s going to see sex on the Internet some day, I am least heartened that she might stumble upon at least some depiction of genuine female pleasure

Do you know how awful it is to walk into a bathroom where only the toilets work