Yeah, I'm pretty much doing all these myself which means the professional I really need to talk to has a Phd by their name.

Numero 9

You've got it out of order.

Sorry honey, I'll buy you another drink.

The flyer said there would be a kissing booth, but alas there is none.

"Jealousy. Rivalry. A drunken lack of courtesy." for spectators vs. "OCD and Hording" for the owners. Sounds like next DSM manual is going to write itself. (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)

The question back should have been: "Can he count cards?"

Hey, when you're a jet, you know....

Since a Neanderthal just ruined sign hacking for everyone I think I'll let Jeff Goldblum's Jurassic Park character express my feelings on the matter.

Smoking...

Hey it's all well and good until someone posts a picture of Mohammed

Clueless, but conscious of the fact that the taxpayer is subsidizing their purchase.

I'm appalled at California's lack of Zombie Diversity. Apparently the Golden State does not offer undead opportunities unless you fit into their narrow-minded White Zombie archetype.

While at the same time clueless about the time you'll spend behind the wheel of the Leaf and in the home with PV panels in order to reach your ROI.

Roar!

Nissan Leaf because you're a narcissistic, clueless BoBo and charging it at home supports your "Local", Coal-Fired, Co-Op owned power plant located in the socioeconomically depressed, high-crime, "food desert" part of town.

Cthulhu

Saab fans take heart. The Saab Liberation Tiger Team is in route.

What is that? A tea light candle?

Step away from the OLAP Cube and nobody gets hurt.