The cake is a lie.

Playing back answering machine or voicemail messages that you left yourself is the WORST. At that points it’s like you aren’t even human.

And I’m guessing that estimate’s not factoring in paper refills, ink/toner refills, jams, fires, and the fact that printers are bigger assholes than cats, and are even harder to get what you want them to do for any length of time.

That is a recording though. Your voice can sound drastically different across them depending on the quality of the recording medium, as well as the output.

WANT.

Weird. We’ve always referred to this as ghosting. Didn’t even realize that ghosting was a relationship dick move until I had to look it up after reading this article.

My wife and I separated about eight months ago. Since the separation I’d say that we’ve actually become better friends to each other than we had been for quite a long time during our twelve year relationship. We don’t spend a ton of time together, but when we do, it’s never really strained, and our two year old sees…

Oh, let him be. He actually is President Trump. Sure, he may have given a barebones tweet-like message about there being “no collusion” to an intern for them to post after they rewrote it, so as to throw us off of his tracks. Rest assured though it’s him.

I had the same initial thought. Still horrific.

No. But there’s always Skinny Pete:

You’re on your hands and knees praying to the porcelain god

I think it’s disingenuous to believe that he has stopped mourning the loss of his wife. Finding a modicum of happiness doesn’t mean that he has erased the sorrow.

He could have at the very least watched Milk.

Heaven forbid that a man see a woman’s shoulders. Imagine the reaction that the tiniest bit of sideboob would produce? There’d probably be a whole Republican party shutdown.

10-15% lower after a raise? Good on these two for leaving, that’s insulting.

I trim and wash, more for equality and aesthetics than anything. Never have been a big fan of hummers.

There’s a village here in Alberta called “Consort”, locals pronounce it as “Concert”.

That gif could only get better if Janeway was mouthing “Aw, muffin.”

My grandfather went through a fad about 10 years ago where he did this. If I recall, he even bought a fancy tray to do it. I never got into it, they tasted fine, but always had a weird not-quite-crisp, not-quite-soggy texture to them.

Not here in Canada. And not only that, they are often white.