So... basically... they're all female versions of Allen, himself?

I humbly suggest they get one of these for the chilliest situation of all:

One (1) pillow. Please make sure this pillow is functional and not decorative because there is a difference and sometimes you get yelled at for getting pizza sauce on something that cost $19.99 and money doesn't just grow on trees, Mark, okay? People work all day to have nice things and you're going to need to take…

So a source article says "there is no law that specifies how old a child has to be before he or she can go somewhere unsupervised. It's done on a case-by-case basis." But she had to pay $4,000 bond to get out of jail. For not breaking a nonlaw that doesn't exist. Hmm.

"Numerous sex offenders living in the vicinity of the park"

I'll never forget putting "Cornflake Girl" on the jukebox at a bar with a bunch of drunk women in their 30s. It went like this:

Jaffa Cakes all around!
Oh, Mommy! Oh Daddy! Let's all play kabaddi!

Fuck that. I'm not a slobbering animal who gets so obliterated that I eat garbage from a filthy floor. Why do these Gawker sites glorify alcohol abuse and drunken idiocy like this? If she was a heroin addict eating garbage she'd be considered pitiful and sad but because she was out "partying" it's all good? Fucking…

Nope. Never been there. Not even there adjacent.

I was in nursing school for a while (before I realized I'm disgusted by poop). A lot of the girls were big tanners. And they absolutely knew the risks. People do dumb shit. I don't get it. A friend of mine loved the tanning beds when we were 14 and her dad had had skin cancer for crap's sake.

As someone whose skin only comes in 2 colors (pale as the underbelly of a fish or red as the fires of hell), I have trouble comprehending the people who use tanning beds. They're magic boxes that make other people look like they've spent time outside.

Though I have noticed that the people who actually spend the summer…

Sidetracking slightly based on your Skynet reference:

THE PHONE... THE PHONE IS ON FIRE... WE DON'T NEED NO WATER, cos that would void the warranty.

The writing on television is quite a bit ahead of cinema, IMO. No longer are TV shows written as some 21 minute vignette stand alone product, they're a part of an on going series. I'm glad to see Orphan Black getting love at Comic Con, Tatiana Maslany acts circles around the typical other best actress nominees in…

Kumail Nanjiani, who is on Silicon Valley, is doing a good job of bringing back the fandom. He has a podcast called the X-Files Files, if you're interested!

Scully,Lisa and Daria were definitely my role models as a kid for "it's totally okay to be a bit of a loner and stand up for yourself and your beliefs."

TV seriously needs more Scullys, the antidote to the "strong female character"

I love that they hang out all the time/maybe kiss and stuff these days! Fanfic come true!

You will be pleased to learn that I didn't get paid at all! This was cross-posted from Jezebel's open forum for employees!