Thank you so much for this piece.

You will be pleased to learn that I didn't get paid at all! This was cross-posted from Jezebel's open forum for employees!

I figured you for a good tipper, Mark. Plus, I imagine your table being nice and having fun, which is always welcome in this former server's opinion. My comment was more for the general populace who might not realize that the cheap soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch they ordered to save money was actually way more…

I said this the other day - I have a semi-hidden obsession with fanfic (as in some of my friends know I read it, they just don't know quite how much) and I really do not get the knotting thing. Or mpreg, except in the case of Loki, what with the shapeshifting and all. I keep reading it hoping someone will finally…

We are weird, in that we are the chosen ones, the best that have ever lived, those that all else aspire to be.

Eastern? Don't you mean Western? I mean, sure us Bostonians have our share of douchebros and then you have the whole Cape/Martha's Vineyard types, but, uh...biting and BB guns?

Springfield is New England's Florida. I'm from Hartford and it was really the only place we could look down on.

I've always thought pistol whipping was the most bad-ass move. I squeal and clap every time it happens in a movie or TV show. (Yes, people stare.) It's like, "You aren't even worth a bullet."

Yeah I kinda perked up at that point.

as always, popcorn is vegan.

Were they at least the Cibavision Night & Day or similar that you are meant to keep in your eyes for 30 days? I wonder if these are more comfortable than others? Or two-week or monthly ones? I'm jealous that your eyes are not sensitive but glad that hopefully nothing permanently bad happened. Life is easier without…

AW YISS, THIS STORY WAS GROSS AND I ENJOYED IT.

I was misdiagnosed at first because I wasn't presenting with the pain often associated with it. I had red, watery eyes, photosensitivity, but I kept telling the doctor that my eyes felt tired. They would blur and I would blink and then could see clearly again. They thought I had herpes in the eye, then a viral…

Two years ago I had the same amoeba start to develop under my lens despite regular cleaning and removal at night, so I had to stop wearing contacts for 4 months, use special drops, let my eyes heal, and use stronger solution to clean the contacts after that. It came back anyway, so I now am permanently in glasses,…