This guy would applaud the troopers in Selma, Alabama on Bloody Sunday.

Generally, random protesters aren’t going to violently attack your car if you weren’t:

That’s what kills me about the argument that Biden is ‘electable’.

I ought to cough on you and your generation for inventing participation trophies.

I mean... what’s your point really? Sanders never stands on the stage and brags about that. His supporters like to mention it but the man never stands up there and says “I GOT ARRESTED SO BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD VOTE FOR ME.”

Yeah, they’re about to make me leave these sites for good.

The whole idea that “movies wouldn’t do this with their trailers” is ridiculous.

Free Honda Accord with $500 birth control:

Damned Librul turbine blade saw its chance to take out the Koch Brothers.

+1 techno

I really don’t think they expected to win another presidency ever again. It’s why the brutal gerrymandering maps, ID laws, and emphasis on EVIL OBAMA/piss room laws/contraceptives/MOAR GUNS!!1 was so strong for the last 8 years; the idea that “we may never get another executive so let’s galvanize a strong Legislative…

I love how everyone’s reaction to your post is “LOL? $100K FOR COFFEE BUTTON MASHER? ! “ as if there are no wages between $10/hour and $50/hour

Bring me my brown pants!

Because if you don’t feign interest in the Supreme Glorious Leader, you end up like Hungry Man on the back right

This was my answer.

I feel they missed out on #Blimpghazi

I love coming on Jalopnik and seeing my car get lauded. Love my '06!

So, here's the lesson: I know it's hard. I know those armpits are tempting little pockets of fur just begging for a good burn-down. But don't. Don't set fire to any armpits (or crotches, for that matter) of anyone driving a car.

Here's what Raph said, over the old, salvaged Minitel system we use for inter-Jalop communications:

"Because when I was 12, I had an imaginary friend...but he didn't tell me to kill"