Touch screens have zero place in a car that you are also expected to drive because it’s distracting and unsafe. Cars also need to be just as functional in winter as summer, and any control that can’t be easily manipulated while wearing gloves should be taken out back and shot.

David Tracy: Finds a monkey paw in an mystical antique shop ... “Boy I wish I had more time at home to work on my project cars.”

Safari is so good at blocking 3rd party cookies it won’t let me sign into Kinja pages using 3rd party sign-in. So I use Chrome now. GJ Safari!

The rear of the car was never the problem. The font is way worse.

But UPS does suck. This is just a new reason why they suck. 

What I can’t figure out is why UPS suddenly decided to reroute my package after it was out for delivery on Friday, and now they’re holding it for 14 days. Is this their attempt at protecting their drivers, just cancel deliveries? Or do they think they’re protecting me from my package?

The front fake vents are absolutely worse.

I agree with you. But I think my initial response would have been, “Why didn’t he just buy McDonald’s?”

Have you had the Reese’s Mini Eggs?

Patron Saint of Horsepower (Megawatts)?

The new head of BMW design:

That wing belongs on a Supra.

I’m hoping the new Abarth is a plugin-hybrid, so you can creep up on people, and then ... BANG! POP! BLAT!

But where’s the lie?

Everyone should feel welcomed at Jalopnik. Except people who dislike Corvettes doing donuts. 

My most recent car purchase was dictated by “does it come with a manual parking brake?” I don’t know how to drive in the winter without one. Also I enjoy being a hoon a bit too much.

The difficulty will simply be indicated by Jack’s level of undress.

We’re staring down 10-12" of snow in the next 24 hours, and “I wish I had 4WD” is not even a thought that enters my head, but “I’m glad I bought snow tires” is. Also, “I’m glad my car still has a manual hand-brake.”

Don’t forget to lift that fucker 3 extra feet in the air sooo ... because ... to ... seriously why do people even do this?