You know, if we were just going by gruesome surgery photos, you could make appendectomies look evil. Man was born with his appendix and he should die with his appendix!

Let's try to get to the core of the matter: What you're saying is that games should be marketed to women,

This is valid to a point, but point to one privileged group that's ever raised its hand and said, Yep, too much influence here, that's just about enough for us, thanks.

hi i think you have a lot of good idears and i want to talk to you more about them these animals they are freedom fioghters and i think its the lefty pinko freaks who would suggest we eat them you know why because they are cannibals think about it its all just a big flat circle and if we are all the same species as…

THIS IS WHAT I ALSO THOUGHT. This headline is LIES.

I was expecting something between an armpit fart or some sort of "clapping" to a tune.

Well, if you are literally killing people, I would say it's pretty unjustified. If, on the other hand, you're causing soda to spray them in the face, I'd say it's pretty righteous.

More food needs to be served en bucket.

I treat places where my friends work more like places where I'm a regular (sometimes it might be both). Be polite. Order off the menu and only ask for reasonable accommodations ("no onion, please" or "could I have a lime in the vodka tonic?"), be sociable to the workers whether I know them or not, tip like the…

right? I go places where my friends work so that I can support them and spend money at their place of employment, not to be a dick! If I get something comped, I always tip the server the full amount that the dish would have cost had I paid for it, because I was planning to spend it anyway and because I want them to…

Love Behind Closed Ovens

I was bartending a shift for my restaurant's fifth anniversary when three uppity college girls came in and preceded to order elaborate, handcrafted cocktails all night. They were mostly just hanging out to win some of the prizes for our company's anniversary celebration plus snag free food. I mean, they're college…

People who take advantage of the "my friend is the bartender/chef/server" and do stupid shit like ordering too much and wasting food really make it terrible for everyone else.

I'm running my first half marathon tomorrow and am excited and a little terrified! I lost 80 pounds two years ago and made a resolution (so corny) to do this run. I know I am physically ready, but still battle some of that old negative self-talk every now and then. Anyway - woo hoo!

Sorry, this is long, there are two break ups and they're not really bonkers or funny, but I just wanted to write them down.

Reminded me of this

This isn't funny but fuck it...

I was in what I thought was a pretty great relationship with a cool dude. We lived together, and everything was happy and good. We were in the happy honeymoon phase of the relationship, which is what makes this even more strange. We both worked 9-5 jobs, and one day we were texting each other as usual throughout the…

Mine was brutal. I spoke about it at London's version of The Moth. It was the only kind of catharsis I could afford ->

I once had a huge breakup fight with my boyfriend over hamburger helper. He wanted me to get up and get an additional fork instead of sharing his and for some reason I refused.