I want Joe Biden to be my dad and give me inspiring talks straight out of a '90s family sitcom.

Oh Joe, be still my heart! There are really just no words for how much I love that man!

This is why Joe Biden is my fantasy internet boyfriend. He gets so much shit for gaffes when 99% of the time, he's the smartest and most compelling guy in the room. Of course he would say this. Of course. I love him so much.

Letter Writer #3: I know every person is different and it depends on the drugs, but I've been in similar situations. Here's the best I've got. You're not being selfish at all. You're not just doing the best possible thing for you, you're doing the best possible thing for her. Sit her down and have a talk with her…

Sorry, there are too many comments for me to wade through and see if someone had already posted this awesome Oatmeal Comic on mantis shrimp. If not, here:

Lindy, I'm sure you won't see this because god knows if I were you I wouldn't wade into the comments section ever, but just know that I love you, love your work, and really credit you with explaining shit in really effective terms to me, someone who was very much a novice on everything when she started reading Jez.…

These same guys who 'hate' golddiggers are usually the ones hoping that women are golddiggers because they use money as a stand-in for a good personality.

The absolute best retort I ever heard went like this:

Stuff like this makes me so wary of dating men. These men who spew hatred towards women online are people we all know: our coworkers, neighbours, friends, current and ex boyfriends. The Internet just allows them the freedom to go on verbally abusive tirades and say hateful, sexist things they wouldn't have the courage…

I like to think Elaine Stritch answered the knock at the Pearly Gates and that they're both sitting having vodka on the rocks, talking shit about everyone.

"If anyone wants to hear me trash talk about this woman, come to my business. We can talk in the rape room!"

I was just looking to make sure someone else caught that! I'm still grinning haha

DAMNIT, I missed your comment. I made the same observation. We're 12.

Yeah, there's no fucking way lover boy is coming in the bathroom AT ALL if that's going down. The second I realize what it is, I'm hauling ass to the bathroom & turning on a scalding hot shower before even trying to remove it. And I'm locking the door behind me until I've scoured my ladybits with Comet. I may not call…

the only reason I call BS is that after she remembered it had been that long, she still would be trying to preserve the mood. Umm, if I suddenly remembered a tampon or anything else was in my business for two weeks I would kick my husband out of the house for an hour before I tried to fix it. And then I would go to a…

I'm kind of curious what you did your thesis on — either undergrad or grad.

I don't think so at all. The physical burden of the mattress is strenuous, sure. But think of how walking in with a mattress will disrupt every class she goes to. How much room it takes up in an elevator. How it will slow/block traffic on a stairwell. Hell, how many people will be made uncomfortable by asking…

She's already suffering. Now people will have to witness it in a more tangible way.

i think flowbee actually thinks it's LITERALLY every white man. i bet that's it. i bet that is exactly what she's saying.

Real World Location of Fangastia?