“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”

Being a fan of the Redskins is like being a Donald Trump voter. It signals you are either a racist, an idiot, or both.

Official statement by Ryan Lochte:

Germans have a weird affinity for red and black color schemes.

glad goatse is still alive and well in 2016

Why wouldn’t you pee first, then get your coffee on the way back from the bathroom? I mean, I guess it’s unlikely that you’re getting actual shit in your coffee or anything, but my basic rule of thumb is to keep as many things that will be going into my mouth out of public restrooms as possible.

What do you think is the worst vegetable? I say onions. I’ve never eaten something and said “You know what? That could’ve used onions. That would’ve really made it better.” They could disappear of the face of the Earth and I wouldn’t care or notice.

Don’t do that. While his neighbors were being over dramatic, don’t pretend like you don’t understand why his trailer would be objectionable.

This is why I live in the city: suburban neighbors are the actual worst.

I see your POV, and on one level I agree.

The camera left you... trembling? That line alone put me on the side of the guy with the trailer.

The list of reasons why we’re not looking to buy in any sort of suburban hellscape subdivision grew by one today.

r_kelly.jpg

I guess the only thing left to do is drink it.

Help the Dear Leader root out the traitors. For God and Country!

From East Passyunk to Manayunk, from Port Richmond to Darby, from Chestnut Hill to South Philadelphia, we shall fight on.

I bet Riley Cooper had that ‘coon removed from the stadium.

“Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Philadelphia Eagles”

You can always tell when swimmers beef. Just look for the bubbles.