The skin has a way of shutting that whole thing down.

What I'm most surprised by is how Vladimir Putin finds the time to referee. That guy is everywhere.

Damn, if I sucked dick everyday my wife would probably leave me.

She's Greek. We have olive oil flowing in our blood, keeping our skin youthful.

You're an awesome Mom. Keep at it. :)

Yeah, there's a lot of work involved in trying to make the best decisions. But, my daughter is my priority, not men. I don't want a bunch of people parading in and out.

IS IT CHRISTOPHER PIKE

I'm so excited as well and it's so nice to be able to (I hate this term but) fan-girl out to something even though I'm 32 years old. I grew up too quickly through a traumatic childhood so it's nice to have a handful of things to get silly-excited about like music I would have listened to in my youth and early 20's.…

Was? You mean Common is back on the market? Hmm..

How messed up is it that I played the video and my 5 yr old grandchild starts singing along with the song from other room? Sigh..

You know, it's not ebola that's ultimately going to kill us all. It's a lack of a common fucking sense.

I would actually, but my yoga pants are giving me a seriously uncomfortable case of camel toe right now.

i got the joke, but also the instant i read it, i was like

do not shit on my hippie dreams. Santa is bringing one of those sumbitches to our home next Christmas. I've been looking for the right one for a year.

Yup. Forget the adorably, fully-stocked antique kitchen I found at a thrift store. No, my kid is busy with a week-old balloon animal that basically looks like a large pink condom at this point.

I mean, he came out covered in a lot of stuff...but I don't know if they took some sort of vaginal swab and applied it to him. Honestly I had a ton of plans (delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin, etc) that sort of went out the window in the heat of the moment. But he seems pretty healthy and I'm going to…

I have carried a torch for him since he was in Voyage of the Mimi. Nothing short of him nuking the library of congress will shake that love.

Fund a female. Not woman. Female. I fund a female cat. We met on Whiskr.

If you'd be willing to go on record with that, drop me an e-mail at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com.

Go at his letter with a red marker and then send it back and ask him to fix his mistakes.